Red Dwarf... smeghead!
FIRST SEASON
The End (All of the ship's crew are killed
except for Lister and Rimmer)
Future Echoes (Deceleration cuases time
distortions so the crew sees images from the future)
Balance of Power (Lister takes the chef's exam
so he can outrank Rimmer)
Waiting for God (Cat and Lister search for the
lost cat civilization)
Confidence and Paranoia (A mutated pneumonia
causes 2 sides of Lister to emerge as physical beings)
Me2 (Rimmer duplicates himself)
SECOND SEASON
Kryten (A servile robot is discovered in a
crashed ship)
Better Than Life (The crew finds a
mind-expanding video game)
Thanks for the Memory (The crew finds they've
lost time but don't remember why)
Stasis Leak (The trio journey in time through a
stasis leak)
Queeg (A smarter computer challenges Holly for
control)
Parallel Universe (The crew find themselves in a
parallel universe where the sexes are reversed)
THIRD SEASON
Backwards (The crew falls into a time vortex and
find themselves on Earth in reverse)
Marooned (The crew is forced to temporarily
abandon ship)
Polymorph (A hostile shape-changing mutant comes
on board)
Body Swap (Rimmer finds a way to trade places
with Lister)
Time Slides (The crew changes their pasts
through time-travel)
The Last Day (Kryten is ordered shut down and
replaced)
FOURTH SEASON
Camille (The crew finds a pleasure 'droid that
can take any female form)
DNA (Kryten becomes human)
Justice (The crew unfreezes a psychopath and
takes him to a penal planet)
White Hole (A white hole is causing time shifts)
Dimension Jump (A Rimmer from an alternate
universe arrives just in time to save the crew)
Meltdown (The crew visits Waxworld and gets
involved in a war between 'droids)
FIFTH SEASON
Holoship (Rimmer finds love, Nirvana and
Enlightenment on a holoship)
Terrorform (Kryten finds himself in Starbug
wreckage on a planet and can't remember why)
The Inquisitor (The Inqusitor roams through time
weeding out life's wastrels and deleting the worthless
- the Red Dwarf crew is in big, big
trouble.)
Quarantine (Rimmer catches a holovirus from
another ship)
Demons and Angels (The crew accidentally damages
Holly and creates 2 extra Red Dwarfs)
Back to Reality (The crew finds out they have
been in a role-playing game for 4 years)
SIXTH SEASON
Psirens (After 200 years, Lister awakens with
amnesia and Red Dwarf gone)
Legion (The crew is caught in a giant space
station and held captive by a cyborg)
Gunmen of the Apocalypse (The Dwarfers battle
bio-mechanical killers)
Emohawk - Polymorph II (The ship lands on a Gelf
planet and the crew must fight another polymorph)
Rimmerworld (Rimmer creates a world populated
with duplicates of himself)
Out of Time (The ship enters a minefield of
unreality pockets)
SEVENTH SEASON
Tikka To Ride
Stoke Me A Clipper
Ouroboros
Duct Soup
Blue
Beyond A Joke
Epideme
Nanarchy
SEASON EIGHT
Back in the Red, Part 1
Back in the Red, Part 2
Back in the Red, Part 3
Cassandra
Krytie TV
Pete
Pete II: Captain's Office
Only the Good
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This is the text from the beginning of series three...
... Most of these changes are more or less explained by the following words that scroll rapidly up the screen at the beginning of "Backwards":
"RED DWARF III
THE SGA CONTINUUMS
THE STORY SO FAR...
Three million years in the future, Dave Lister, the last human being alive, discovers he is pregnant after a liaison with his female self in a parallel universe. His pregnancy concludes with the successful delivery of twin boys, Jim and Bexley. However, because the boys were conceived in another universe, with different physical laws, they suffer from highly accelerated growth rates and are both eighteen years old within three days of being born. In order to save their lives, Lister returns them to the universe of their origin, where they are reunited with their father (a woman), and are able to lead comparatively normal lives. Well, as normal as you can be if you've been born in a parallel universe and your father's a woman and your mother's a man and you're eighteen years old three days after your birth. Shortly afterward, Kryten, the service mechanoid, who had left the ship after being rescued from his own crashed vessel, the Nova 5, is found in pieces after his space bike crashed into an asteroid. Lister rebuilds the 'noid, but is unable to recapture his former personality. Meanwhile, Holly, the increasingly erratic computer, performs a head sex change operation on himself. He bases his new face on Hilly, a female computer with whom he'd once fallen madly in love."
It *is* possible to read all this, using a VCR with good freeze-frame capabilities. Try it.
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The following Space Corps Directives are mentioned in episodes of RED DWARF:
Article 5 Gross negligence leading to the endangerment of
personnel. ("Queeg")
Article 169 [Exact text not given, but similar to 195.]
("Quarantine")
Article 195 In an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic
crewmember must lay down his life in order that the
living crewmembers might survive. ("White Hole")
Article 312 [Quarantine berths must] provide minimum leisure
facilities. ("Quarantine")
Article 497 You have to work to earn credits for food. ("Queeg")
Article 597 One [quarantine] berth per crew member.
("Quarantine")
Article 699 [A crew member may] demand a re-screening after five
days in quarantine. ("Quarantine")
Article 1742 No member in the Corps should ever report for active
duty in a ginger toupee. ("Psirens")
Article 1743 No registered vessel should attempt to traverse an
asteroid belt without deflectors. ("Psirens")
Article 5796 No officer above the rank of mess sergeant is
permitted to go into combat with pierced nipples.
("Psirens")
Article 5797 [Exact text not given, but has to do with Lister
being unable to enter the ship for the safety of the
crew.] ("Psirens")
Article 34124 No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex
in zero gravity. ("Legion")
Article 68250 [Exact text not given, but involves at least one
live chicken and a rabbi.] ("Emohawk: Polymorph II")
Article 196156 Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the
exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be
discharged without trial. ("Rimmerworld")
(No # given) It is our primary overriding duty to contact other
life forms, exchange information, and, whenever
possible, bring them home. ("Polymorph")
Two All Nations agreements are also mentioned, both in "Gunmen of the Apocalypse":
39436175880932/C The right of POW's to non-violent constraint.
39436175880932/B All nations attending the conference are only
allowed one car-parking space.
Finally, Rimmer cites the following two "Rimmer Directives":
Article 271 No chance, you metal bastard! ("White Hole")
(No # given) Never tangle with anything that's got more teeth
than the entire Osmond family. ("Polymorph")
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What are the lyrics of the theme song?
The theme song was composed by Howard Goodall and sung by Jenna Russell. The
words are:
It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere
I'm all alone, more or less
Let me fly far away from here
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
I want to lie shipwrecked and comatose
Drinking fresh mango juice
Goldfish-ohs nibbling at my toes
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
There has been much debate over the "goldfish" line -- it isn't sung very clearly, and some fans think they hear "Goldfish are nibbling." But Kryten recites the lyrics in the "Smeg Ups" video, and they are as listed above. (A "shoal" is a school of fish.) - doubtful, "fish-o's" is not an uncommon english expression... silly americans.
An "extended mix" version of the song has been released on several soundtrack compilation CDs:
Between the Lines, a collection of BBC themes
The Cult Files, a collection of science fiction themes
Stellar Themes, which has been given away as a subscription premium for the
magazine Sci-Fi Universe
The extended version includes two extra verses written by percussionist Ian Hu
(who apparently is not connected with Red Dwarf). The additional verses are as
follows:
I'll pack my bags and head into hyperspace
Where I'll succeed at time-warp speed
Spend my days in ultraviolet rays
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
We'll lock on course straight through the
universe
You and me and the galaxy
Reach the stage where hyperdrive's engaged
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
Fun, fun, fun in the sun, sun, sun
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LINKS
very complete RD site http://home.interpath.net/pat/rd/faq.html#BabyLister
Official Red Dwarf Fan Club - http://www.tordfc.co.uk/
for news:alt.tv.red-dwarf, the newsgroup - news:alt.tv.red-dwarf
official site - http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/
offical plot rhetoric - http://www.reddwarf.co.uk/plots/plots.html